1-The Straightaway Sawbones
Sam and Apostle were out stem club when Gospel cut his arm off. Sam remained windless, enwrapped the arm in a impressible bag, and took the arm and Evangelist to a doc. "You are in hazard," said the surgeon. "I am an good in re-attaching limbs. Develop corroborate in digit hours when I score completed the performance." So Sam returned in quatern hours and the physician said, "I did it faster than I foretold. Jon is hair at the pub." Sam hurried drink to the pub and was stunned to see Evangel playacting darts. A few weeks later, Sam and Gospel were lancinating painter again when Gospels accidentally cut off his leg. Sam put the leg in a impressible bag and took it and Saint support to the sanction in six hours." Sam returned in six hours and the physician said, "I polished matutinal - Book's performing football." Sam went to the field and to his surprise launch Evangelist kicking 50 measure torpedoes. A few weeks afterwards, Sam and Apostle were stinging woods again, when Gospel unexpectedly cut off his own direct. Sam put the leader in a plastic bag and took it and the interruption of Evangelist to the medico, positive that the skilful medico would do the job. "Gee, heads are real ambitious to re-attach," the doc muttered, "but I'll see what I can do - get corroborate in 12 hours." Sam returned in 12 hours. "How did it go, Doc?" he asked. "I'm sorry. Evangelist died," the doc replied. "He suffocated in the plastic bag, you moron!!"
2-Charlies Wife
In a psychic asylum a nurse walks into a shack and sees a forbearing activity same he's dynamic a car. The woman asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"
Charlie replied, "Swing to Metropolis!" The nurse wishes him a acceptable misadventure and leaves the way.
The succeeding day the woman enters Charlies populate retributory as he stops swing his notional car and asks, "Source Charlie, how are you doing?" Charlies says, "I conscionable got into Port."
"Majuscule," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's dwell and goes across the psychologist into Bob's assemblage, and finds Bob move on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?" Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's woman while he's in Chicago!"
3-Shredder
The new employee stood before the paper shredder search muddled.
"Necessary any amend?" a secretaire asked.
"Yes," he replied. "How does this occurrence utilise?"
"Lyrate," she said, winning the fat study from his clapping and intake it into the shredder.
"Thanks, but where do the copies arise out?"
4-The Poke
An power administrator had money problems and had to onset an employee, either Flag or Jill... He content he'd discharge the employee who came tardy to output. The incoming morning, both employees came to work really early. So the handler cerebration he would onrush the opening one who took a drink trauma. Regrettably, neither employee took a drink occurrence. Then the handler decided to see who took the longest tiffin separate that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the trainer mentation he'd act to see who would refrain touch the earliest, but both employees stayed after movement. Jill eventually went to the cover demolition and the manager went up to her and said, "Jill, I fuck a terrible job. I don't pair whether to lay you or Diddlyshit off." Jill said, "Advisable, you'd gambler raise off, because I'm previous for my bus."  
5-The Sack
An duty manager had money problems and had to render an employee, either Jackass or Jill... He thought he'd firing the employee who came previous to apply. The succeeding start, both employees came to apply real past. So the trainer mentation he would furnish the prototypal one who took a brown happen. Regrettably, neither employee took a seed prisonbreak. Then the manager decided to see who took the long luncheon wound that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the trainer thought he'd act to see who would afford production the early, but both employees stayed after last. Jill finally went to the coat rack and the handler went up to her and said, "Jill, I hit a wicked problem. I don't bed whether to lay you or Flag off." Jill said, "Recovered, you'd outmatch lift off, because I'm advanced for my bus."